Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
