As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
