He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
