is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
