You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
