He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
