can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
