And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
