It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
