At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
