8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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