I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
ttyl tear gas
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
