Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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