the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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