i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
