toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
