everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
whose ass print is on the piano?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
