everyone is single if you try hard enough
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
