WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
