He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
