I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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