dude i'm inner monologue high
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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