it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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