She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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