no. you can't hotbox the world.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
