She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
