get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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