I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
