If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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