ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Welp...herpes.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My pussy is not your playground.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
