I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
