I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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