you guys were way drunker than both of me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
