did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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