spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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