He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
