I wannas sexs uuuuu
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish you could order shots online.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
