For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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