Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
