just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
