Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
