Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
