apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
