Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have tasted many bathrooms
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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