none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
