Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
