The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
