Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have aggressive nipples.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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