Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
