So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
