I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
