You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
